We see it every day. We run in to it while shopping in the store, walking in the park, dining at the restaurant, or dancing at the night club. And it’s not just restricted to the heterosexual community, as the term ‘rice queen’ refers to a non-asian male that desires asian males (you can probably assume what ‘potato queen’ means).
Much like yourself, I often times contemplate what attracts the white guy to that asian female. I refuse to passively accept the simple argument that it’s due to physical appearance alone. There has to be something deeper at hand that influences a white guy to subject himself to a lifetime of being judged and degraded by his significant other’s family. Many asian families, particularly those that have a false sense of superiorism (i.e. Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean) will never accept their daughter’s choice to be taken away by a culture that has values similar to the mildew that grows between the tiles in the shower (their thoughts, not mine). And if there isn’t a more reasonable explanation for this phenomenon, then it may just very well be that the white male seeks a lifetime of punishment, much like the relationship of a masochist and a whip. Below, I try to elaborate my thoughts and reasoning on this subject. I’m sure there’s something I have not included, but such is life. Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments.
The most obvious argument, as mentioned above, is that white males find asian women more beautiful and attractive than the competition. This is a reasonable argument, despite that many women often don’t want to admit it, because ultimately a male’s decision to seek a particular mate is largely determined by physical aspects. We know this not only by controlled sociology studies, but more easily we know this by taking a look in a magazine for men. Maxim Magazine does not put centerfolds of women that have lines and curves that are not absolutely perfect. However, the reason that this argument does not hold water for asian women is because as a whole, they are no more beautiful than white women. If you have ever traveled to Chinatown in NYC, then you will understand why I say this. The average asian woman is not beautiful, she is not dainty, and she is not physically attractive.
An argument for pro-asian that I’ve heard and discussed with others may be even more superficial than the first argument. There is a belief out there (I must preemptively say that I’m sorry for being vulgar, but this is a legitimate argument some white men believe in whole-heartedly) that asian women are tighter than non-asians. If you don’t know what I mean by ‘tighter,’ then think more sexual. If you still don’t understand, then don’t concern yourself with it. I am personally not one who believes this argument. I think it’s a misconception that stems from the fact that asian men are not as well endowed, which leads many white men to falsely assume that asian women are therefore smaller in the same respect. And if you’re a white guy who believes said idea, then you should probably stop dating white girls that have been with more dudes than you have appendages. But who knows, maybe one day a scientist will develop a caliper tool for this purpose.
I ponder the thought of whether or not an asian woman is more attractive to a male if he believes her to be obedient, and along the same lines as that, submissive. This usually does not pertain to any generation after the first, as subsequent generations are influenced by western culture that is not oppressive such as the environment their parents knew. In a relationship with a submissive other, the man can express his authority with less resistance as compared to being with a white woman. It does not take a genius to understand that most males appreciate a girl that listens to him and beckons to his every desire. Thus, many men should thank those asian cultures for having such an authoritarian society as to produce these domesticated beings. It must be like getting a puppy that is already trained to do everything you want and you don’t have to deal with the frustration of re-training it (using a dog here as an example can be thought of as degrading, but at least it’s a cute puppy. No?).
Of the reasonings I’ve had and discussed with others, possibly one of the more optimistic of them is that a mixed white/asian child is simply way more cute. I haven’t met a person that can say they know a mixed child that is ugly (of course there’s always exceptions to what I write). It takes the best of both worlds and combines them into a better whole. There are many layers to why we would find a mate attractive, but I will use skin color as an example here. I personally don’t like the pasty pink/white color of my skin. I also don’t like the jaundice-yellow color of asian skin. However, I would like my offspring to have something in between the two extremes. It all comes down to what I feel would be evolutionarily beneficial for my offspring to be reproductively successful so that my line of genetics will be carried forth in the future. This is of course the name of the game and is the same technique that farmers have been using to produce livestock that are more ‘fit’ for their environment.
The last argument that I sometimes hear from people who don’t usually put much thought in to reasoning is that, we want what we can’t have. This idea is silly for multiple reasons. As an individual that was raised in a capitalist western society, I know that I can get anything I want in this world (within reason). If I want to date an asian girl, then I’ll go out and find one to date. There are plenty of asian girls that are more than willing to be swept away by a white guy. A caveat to the previous sentence is that an asian girl will not be impressed if you are in your thirties, still living at home and still working a dead-end job. These are not credentials that they are looking for.
In conclusion, my interest in dating an asian girl would probably fall in line with evolutionary reasons. You may ask, well what about the argument of physical attractiveness? While this is something I look for in a significant other, I can find physical attractiveness in any ethnicity, it is not limited to asians. And you may wonder, what about personality? Much like physical attractiveness, personality is not limited by culture, I can find an amiable personality that I enjoy in any person I see fit.
Like I said, feel free to leave your comments. I am earnestly curious to hear other people’s thoughts. And yes, I am currently dating an asian girl.