Interracial Dating, White Guys and Asian Girls

We see it every day. We run in to it while shopping in the store, walking in the park, dining at the restaurant, or dancing at the night club. And it’s not just restricted to the heterosexual community, as the term ‘rice queen’ refers to a non-asian male that desires asian males (you can probably assume what ‘potato queen’ means).

Much like yourself, I often times contemplate what attracts the white guy to that asian female. I refuse to passively accept the simple argument that it’s due to physical appearance alone. There has to be something deeper at hand that influences a white guy to subject himself to a lifetime of being judged and degraded by his significant other’s family. Many asian families, particularly those that have a false sense of superiorism (i.e. Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean) will never accept their daughter’s choice to be taken away by a culture that has values similar to the mildew that grows between the tiles in the shower (their thoughts, not mine). And if there isn’t a more reasonable explanation for this phenomenon, then it may just very well be that the white male seeks a lifetime of punishment, much like the relationship of a masochist and a whip. Below, I try to elaborate my thoughts and reasoning on this subject. I’m sure there’s something I have not included, but such is life. Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments.

The most obvious argument, as mentioned above, is that white males find asian women more beautiful and attractive than the competition. This is a reasonable argument, despite that many women often don’t want to admit it, because ultimately a male’s decision to seek a particular mate is largely determined by physical aspects. We know this not only by controlled sociology studies, but more easily we know this by taking a look in a magazine for men. Maxim Magazine does not put centerfolds of women that have lines and curves that are not absolutely perfect. However, the reason that this argument does not hold water for asian women is because as a whole, they are no more beautiful than white women. If you have ever traveled to Chinatown in NYC, then you will understand why I say this. The average asian woman is not beautiful, she is not dainty, and she is not physically attractive.

An argument for pro-asian that I’ve heard and discussed with others may be even more superficial than the first argument. There is a belief out there (I must preemptively say that I’m sorry for being vulgar, but this is a legitimate argument some white men believe in whole-heartedly) that asian women are tighter than non-asians. If you don’t know what I mean by ‘tighter,’ then think more sexual. If you still don’t understand, then don’t concern yourself with it. I am personally not one who believes this argument. I think it’s a misconception that stems from the fact that asian men are not as well endowed, which leads many white men to falsely assume that asian women are therefore smaller in the same respect. And if you’re a white guy who believes said idea, then you should probably stop dating white girls that have been with more dudes than you have appendages. But who knows, maybe one day a scientist will develop a caliper tool for this purpose.

I ponder the thought of whether or not an asian woman is more attractive to a male if he believes her to be obedient, and along the same lines as that, submissive. This usually does not pertain to any generation after the first, as subsequent generations are influenced by western culture that is not oppressive such as the environment their parents knew. In a relationship with a submissive other, the man can express his authority with less resistance as compared to being with a white woman. It does not take a genius to understand that most males appreciate a girl that listens to him and beckons to his every desire. Thus, many men should thank those asian cultures for having such an authoritarian society as to produce these domesticated beings. It must be like getting a puppy that is already trained to do everything you want and you don’t have to deal with the frustration of re-training it (using a dog here as an example can be thought of as degrading, but at least it’s a cute puppy. No?).

Of the reasonings I’ve had and discussed with others, possibly one of the more optimistic of them is that a mixed white/asian child is simply way more cute. I haven’t met a person that can say they know a mixed child that is ugly (of course there’s always exceptions to what I write). It takes the best of both worlds and combines them into a better whole. There are many layers to why we would find a mate attractive, but I will use skin color as an example here. I personally don’t like the pasty pink/white color of my skin. I also don’t like the jaundice-yellow color of asian skin. However, I would like my offspring to have something in between the two extremes. It all comes down to what I feel would be evolutionarily beneficial for my offspring to be reproductively successful so that my line of genetics will be carried forth in the future. This is of course the name of the game and is the same technique that farmers have been using to produce livestock that are more ‘fit’ for their environment.

The last argument that I sometimes hear from people who don’t usually put much thought in to reasoning is that, we want what we can’t have. This idea is silly for multiple reasons. As an individual that was raised in a capitalist western society, I know that I can get anything I want in this world (within reason). If I want to date an asian girl, then I’ll go out and find one to date. There are plenty of asian girls that are more than willing to be swept away by a white guy. A caveat to the previous sentence is that an asian girl will not be impressed if you are in your thirties, still living at home and still working a dead-end job. These are not credentials that they are looking for.

In conclusion, my interest in dating an asian girl would probably fall in line with evolutionary reasons. You may ask, well what about the argument of physical attractiveness? While this is something I look for in a significant other, I can find physical attractiveness in any ethnicity, it is not limited to asians. And you may wonder, what about personality? Much like physical attractiveness, personality is not limited by culture, I can find an amiable personality that I enjoy in any person I see fit.

Like I said, feel free to leave your comments. I am earnestly curious to hear other people’s thoughts. And yes, I am currently dating an asian girl.

  1. Its interesting that you say the prime reason for a white man to date an Asian woman would be for evolutionary reasons. To make cute Hapa babies with better genes. I myself am the son of a white man and an asian woman. When I complain about it, people usually assume that I hate my parents and that in my bitterness I apply that to the innocent hipster modern progressive WM/AF couples of 2011. Its really the other way around. I don’t really consider my parents to be the worst WM/AFs in the world. It just that as a Eurasian Male who gets treated by the whole world as an Asian male, I feel towards WM/AF the same way any other Asian guy would. And the fact that my own parents are a WM/AF makes it worse.

    So how does WM/AF create better kids? WM/AF only exists because Asian men are emasculated. And WM/AF has a 50% chance of producing a Eurasian male kid who is going to be treated by society as just another emasculated Asian. So I don’t see how WM/AF makes any evolutionary or genetic sense.

    • I really enjoy your response because it demonstrates a very different opinion than my own. You obviously have a different perspective on this since you have a mixed background, which makes it so great.

      Regarding Asian men being emasculated – this is a product of the environment that Asian children are raised in. The environment is extremely paternalistic, therefore the Asian child is not brought up with the ability to be independent, strong and make choices on his/her own. A good example of this is the separation anxiety experiment that was implemented across cultures. An observing room was set up with a table at one end of the room and a box of toys at the other end. When an Asian mom and her child entered the room, the mom would go directly to the box of toys, pick out the toy that SHE wants her child to play with, then demonstrate how SHE wants the child to play with the toy, then finally give the toy to the child after thorough instruction was given on how to use the toy and the limitations on its use. When a white mother and child entered the room, the child went to the box of toys, chose a toy for herself/himself, found out how to use it by playing with it, and did not require the assistance of the mother unless the child was having a lot of trouble. The point is that if you want an emasculated Asian male child, then all you have to do is raise him/her in a paternalistic environment. But if you want an Asian child to be strong, then he/she should be raised in an environment in which individual thought and personal strengths are appreciated.

      Regarding making evolutionary/genetic sense – I have no idea how you truly view yourself, but from how I perceive it, you aren’t appreciating the exceptional gift that you have. In your blog you state that you used to lie about your parents backgrounds. This sounds immature and I hope that you have grown out of this. I do not know how it was to be raised in your shoes, and I don’t assume it was easy for you. I hope that one day you will realize how much you have.

      • Johann Sebastian-Wilson said:

        If Asian Males feel emasculated, especially when they see an Asian Female with a White guy, it’s because they choose to stay that way. You can’t help you’re upbringing, but that upbringing doesn’t have to hold you back if you choose to improve yourself. Maybe if Asian guys spent more time working on developing a healthy sense of confidence Females find attractive, their life would improve out of sight, rather than sitting around blaming everyone and everything for their lack of sense success with Asian Females

    • I’m sorry, after looking back I realized I didn’t really answer your first question about how a mixed child may (or may not) be genetically superior. After reading some of your blog I see that you have a good amount of knowledge of biology and evolution. In one of your entries about mixed children and sexual selection, you reference that animals of different species that breed and produce offspring are sterile. I assume you’re referring to the example of the mule which is the product of a FH/MD (femal horse/male donkey). As we both know, the horse and donkey are not the same species (more importantly, they don’t even have the same number of chromosomes) which is why their offspring is unable to reproduce. Therefore, to try to use this example and extrapolate it to asian and caucasian mixing is very unscientific since we both know that Asians and Caucasians are of the same species, thus their offspring is able to reproduce successfully.
      After beginning your entry with amusing sarcasm, you go on to refer to different species being unable to produce reproductively successful offspring (which as we learned above, has nothing to do with Asians and Caucasians having children since they are the same species), and describe an interesting topic that I personally must disagree with you about. You describe the offspring of Asian/Caucasian parents to be functionally sterile because they are ‘mutant hybrids,’ and they are a ‘freakish abomination.’ I have no other backing than my personal opion here, and I must say that think you are absolutely wrong and that mixed people are beautiful and actually have an advantage over most other people.

    • Johann Sebastian-Wilson said:

      Bogus mate sorry. If an Asian Male, or any other male is emasculated, it’s because he chooses to be that way. You can’t help you’re up bringing, but how you live, and what you accept as your lot in life is up to you

  2. guest from ny said:

    It’s funny you say mixed kids are cute and that everyone agrees because I actually have never seen anyone show a strong admiration for the beauty of half white/ half asian babies, in fact I have seen way too many times, girls of all races expressing how white kids are cuter than other ‘races/mixes’ of kids specifically blond, blue eyed kids or kids with light hair and light eyes basically.

    also obviously everyone has different concepts of beauty but Im pretty sure if you asked random people (anywhere in the world) to pick the prettiest kids and showed them pictures of white child models and and also pictures of eurasian child models, most would pick the white ones.

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